Practice Makes Forgiveness

from The Valley Is Not Your Home by Janelle Maree

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lyrics

I have trained for the marathon that is forgiving myself.
I have the stamina.
I have my master’s degree in teaching you how to do the same
but it still pains me to forgive those who are not sorry,
as if God hasn’t spent years doing the same for me,
but more than anything
I hate forgiving the people who hurt the ones I love so deeply.
I hold a grudge
like a mountain climber without a harness,
their fingers strong and bloody,
holding on for life.
Like an owner’s hands
on an anxious dog’s leash,
so afraid to let it go.
Like a big sister’s grip
on her baby brother’s hand
as they cross the busy street.
Like a search party clings to their flashlights,
refusing to give up
even when the batteries begin to die.
I want to pry my fingers off,
to let it fall out of my grasp.
I want a black belt in this,
I want a trophy case,
I want to set a record.
I want to be known for this.
I want to practice every day.

credits

from The Valley Is Not Your Home, released February 24, 2019

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about

Janelle Maree California, Maryland

27 year old poet, special education para-educator, Netflix enthusiast, devoted daughter, sister and friend. You can always find me either singing Disney songs, laughing loudly or talking about hope.