It's A Shame

from The Valley Is Not Your Home by Janelle Maree

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lyrics

If I could crack open each one of my ribs
and rip out the shame from my chest
trust me, I would.
But it would fight for its life
because it’s always planned to take mine.
I can’t call out for help
because stigma has been building in my heart
from years of choking on the truth
and purging out ‘I’m fines’
because I believed the lie
that it’s not okay to not be okay this often ,
but I’m done.
A lie, is a lie, is a lie,
no matter how long you believed it,
and the truth is shame has overstayed.
It grew along the walls of my chest like ivy,
strong and defiant,
but it will not make its home here.
As long as my heart is still beating
I have more chances to be honest.
I clear a path from my ribcage to my tongue.
I say, “I am hurting.” I say, “I am scared.”
I speak the truth
because I don’t want my voice to be buried
beneath layers of shame any longer.
I carve away at it every time I say, “It’s been hard lately.”
I’ll keep saying it until asking for help comes out loud and clear.
I want to pay it forward
because my voice has never been as brave
and powerful and beautiful
as when it’s asking someone else,
“How are you really doing?”
Honesty pours out of my lips
and sometimes it’s used against me
but with every beat,
I try again.

credits

from The Valley Is Not Your Home, released February 24, 2019

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about

Janelle Maree California, Maryland

27 year old poet, special education para-educator, Netflix enthusiast, devoted daughter, sister and friend. You can always find me either singing Disney songs, laughing loudly or talking about hope.